how was your first day of the week? I don’t know if you see the difference between weekends and the other days, but for many humans there is a change of rhythm.
My personal rhythm was accelerating and then slowing down, depending on the activity I was doing. There was also a repetition of a music theme: very often, I was going back to thoughts on love fantasies and whether I should get out of my last one.
I reread B’s sms. B is the guy who interests me. He sent me a sms yesterday, where he told me he doesn’t have time for me at the moment, between his job and his son. Should I forget all about him and even change café? Should I instead, try to understand? After all, we hardly know each other. It is not as if we were engaged in a relationship. He was also asking me how I was doing. Should I answer that?
I had lunch with a good friend who was having similar questions. She is in love, and was complaining about the sms culture in relationships. She needs to communicate with her partner, and writing a sms seems a very limited way to do so. Not enough to fight, to explain, to reconcile.
Or is this an advantage? Limited space is after all what we need to condense our feelings and learn to cut to the chase.
So I sent B a sms. I said I understand, and I am happy to run into him in our usual café. I told him I like his group of friends, the way he is mixing up people of different origins. Because it is the true.
I felt better after that. More free. Time and space are important. Rhythm also. But isn’t it more important the way we use them?
Speaking of rhythm, there is a wonderful Jazz Festival in the area of Saint Germain, ending on May 25, I hope I will make it to one of the concerts.
this is the second post I write for the day. I have accidentally erased the first one before having the time to save it. There is no accident of course : I was a bit troubled by the topic, which is love.
I spent the biggest part of the day, Rue de Buci, between café, and aperitif. I met some friends, and talked among other things, about relationships. Is X more than a friend? Is Y manifesting romantic interest?
I received an sms from B, my favorite café guy, saying he is completely absorbed by his work and his son -as a divorced father- he hardly has time for anything else, which is me, and he is sorry. Our casual meeting at the café is almost his only fun time.
I know parents of young children are extremely busy and B is doing a demanding job.
But, if he wanted to, he could have made some time for a drink!
This is going in the direction of what an Italian friend had told me: if a guy wants something, he will act. Turn the page April!
Of course, I would have liked him to say instead: “I am sooo busy, but I always make time for you, April”!
I have not answered yet. I will continue going to the same café when I feel like it and I still like B. Too bad I will not get to know him for real.
Between the fantasy of love and reality, I prefer reality, with a fantastic guy!