Dear Sunday May,
I was to have tea with a Chinese friend, but canceled it because there were things I needed to work on this afternoon. He was so kind to say: never mind April, another time!
I couldn’t have finished in the morning, for the simple reason that I woke up late, after having been out last night. So my Sunday started practically after 12.00 when I decided to take my computer and go out in one of my usual Sunday headquarters. Just a parenthesis to specify that certain cafés are closed on Sundays in Paris, so for a café-lover as me, I need a Sunday hangout.
The first step, is usually a café where I meet up with a group of friends who leave at about 13.00 to have lunch elsewhere. So, I skipped this step and went directly to the second. It is a place where I often have lunch, tiny, with good prices and friendly waiters. Great cocktails at night.
I worked a lot, talked to a friend who joined me at some point. Chatted with the guy next table who wanted to know if he looked fine in his jeans.
I answered yes. This triggered a thought about liking, or loving oneself and self-transformation. Being liked, loved by others, is so important, we are ready to do almost anything to assure this love. Write a blog, become a rock star, sacrifice for others:
But how do we like ourselves? We can choose nice-cut jeans. We can eat well, buy ourselves beautiful things, or things that others consider valuable. We can become very accomplished, beautiful, rich, famous, helpful, powerful.
But is this liking or loving oneself? How about the desire for change? Is it based on self-love or self-hate?
In my case, I think self-love is to accept I have valuable things to offer and not feel diminished every time I ask others to join a project, an idea or even a date. If they yes, fine. If they say no, it is fine also.
If I ask for an approval I risk liking myself less every time I get a negative answer.
If I concentrate in co-creating, I am conscious of having something valuable to offer, but so do others. It is just different, that is why we are complementary.
Finding the right partner-s is necessary to love, grow, transform and create.
PS. Thank you Kimberly for the post on liking yourself! http://kimberlyharding.wordpress.com/