you probably have no idea about the commitment I have taken with April, and the discussions between us- unless you were reading my blog.
To sum up, I have promised to transform myself, in order to reach two objectives important for my happiness: true love, and a real job that allows me to live from my passion.
Now, with all respect, I wouldn’t like to go back to what true love represents for me: is it more or less, living a passionate relationship with a person who is complementary: physically, intellectually, emotionally, etc; in a way that we both grow.
A real job is one that allows me to live from the things I love to do, that are meaningful: writing fiction, and organizing artistic events.
Now, I spent the greatest part of the day doing my laundry, cleaning up the house -almost- and preparing an update for you; the idea was to keep you interested, but to also recapitulate on what has been accomplished.
The question of values came up as very important:
what do I value most? It used to be freedom, and both love and “success” seemed ways to lose myself and create a distance from my main purpose.
Finding and exploring my true passion has been the other value. And I have been exploring different ways of self-realization, particularly through the arts.
But intimacy and success are finally missing and they are very important: they both involve working together with others. Collaboration is like love: not melting in each other, but completing and adding an extra value.
Now I see that intimacy and success should rise in my hierarchy of values, if there is one, and passion and freedom should follow to make sure they allow growth and not alienation.
Now that things seem clear, is this going to change the way I behave? This is my challenge for May.