May 2- monthly update for success

Dear May,

you probably have no idea about the commitment I have taken with April, and the discussions between us- unless you were reading my blog.

To sum up, I have promised to transform myself, in order to reach two objectives important for my happiness: true love, and a real job that allows me to live from my passion.

Now, with all respect, I wouldn’t like to go back to what true love represents for me: is it more or less, living a passionate relationship with a person who is complementary: physically, intellectually, emotionally, etc; in a way that we both grow.

A real job is one that allows me to live from the things I love to do, that are meaningful: writing fiction, and organizing artistic events.

Now, I spent the greatest part of the day doing my laundry, cleaning up the house -almost- and preparing an update for you; the idea was to keep you interested, but to also recapitulate on what has been accomplished.

The question of values came up as very important:

what do I value most? It used to be freedom, and both love and “success” seemed ways to lose myself and create a distance from my main purpose.

Finding and exploring my true passion has been the other value. And I have been exploring different ways of self-realization, particularly through the arts.

But intimacy and success are finally missing and they are very important: they both involve working together with others. Collaboration is like love: not melting in each other, but completing and adding an extra value.

Now I see that intimacy and success should rise in my hierarchy of values, if there is one, and passion and freedom should follow to make sure they allow growth and not alienation.

Now that things seem clear, is this going to change the way I behave? This is my challenge for May.



May 1- Welcome to Paris!

Welcome dear May!

I spent the first part of the day preparing my luggage and I got myself on the train in the afternoon: direction, Paris! The hometown visit was a big chapter in April, but it was time to end it.

Seated in my place, I had enough time to reflect on my stay. From a practical point of view, I submitted an application for funding and got some answers considering my novel’s publication.

Ok, but is this enough? To be honest, I need to work more hours, the hometown stay was close to a holiday. There was some laziness and indulging in negative feelings, involved.

Yes, but some laziness is important, letting our mind wander to capture new ideas, energies, colors, people! Working under pressure is not very productive either. It is so precious to be able to create one’s own world, we are so lucky to have imagination to serve us! And then we can come back to reality and share our creation.

When I arrived in Paris in the evening, it was raining heavily; nothing to do with the South. But hey, it is May first! Muguet flowers were sold all over the place, and people were out for drinks and walks.

I met briefly with a friend and then went for a drink by myself in the Saint Germain area. I felt a feeling between loneliness and happiness. I would have liked to share this moment. But I am happy to be back.