You want to know if I am advancing in my search for true love?
I haven’t been dating in my hometown, not exactly.
Talking to friends or watching a film, doesn’t qualify.
To begin with, what is true love?
The day ended with the film “Ruby Sparks”, written by Zoe Kazan, who personifies the role of Ruby.
To make a long story short, a young writer who has published a bestseller as an adolescent, is alone and lonely. He starts writing about his ideal woman who somehow comes into life and appears in his apartment out of the blue. She becomes his girlfriend.
Ruby, that is her name, meets his brother and rest of the family. She has become part of his reality. But this is not enough to make him happy; the ideal woman is ready to leave him. As he tries to stop her, he reveals his secret: that he is her “creator”, almost a god, and can make her do whatever he likes.
After a violent confrontation, Ruby leaves him. The writer decides to write the end of his book in a way that emancipates or “frees” his character and gives her the right to exist independently of him.
When he decides to write a book about his relationship with the woman of his dreams, his creation, it becomes a successful book. And he gets to meet a girl who looks like the “Ruby” of his dream relationship.
The line between fiction and reality is sometimes difficult to draw.
The kind of issues raised by the film is dear to my heart: I am writing, and it has happened to me to create an ideal man. Last year, I have fallen in love with someone who was making me think of this character.
But don’t we all, at some point, want to “transform” a little bit, a person we love or like, to match our “ideal”? Isn’t a list of desired attributes a way to control and frame the existence of another, so that it is impossible to hurt us?
The thing is, if it is impossible to hurt us, maybe we get bored and walk out of this “perfect” person.
Freedom is so important! A friend has told me that love is not to melt in one another, but to become emerged by the other without losing our unique qualities.
Our potential to become!
Writing, fiction, forms of creation are ways to stretch our own, but also other people’s identity; to propose a platform where we can meet.