April 15- first day in my home town: the spiderman syndrome

April, hello

First day in my hometown. Do you want to know how my transformation advances?

Spiderman could be a useful metaphor for this:

I am godmother to one of my dearest friend’s sons: Alexandre is 3 years and a half and a big fun of Spiderman. His parents disapprove of this interest but the grandparents let him watch a film with the superhero. And he was “bitten” by spider-mania.

So I had no choice than to buy for him a spider-present. I also told him my version of the spider-hero, whom I know in person. The part that caught his attention was the transformation. Future Spiderman started as an average boy; at least, that is what he felt about himself. This is also what the others perceived him to be.

But, the fact that a spider bites him, radio-active or not- is the first step of his transformation to a super hero. Was it a form of destiny? Could he have “chosen” not to transform?

It seems that getting his super powers is irreversible. The choice is what he decides to do with them. He could have ignored them and hidden them even from himself. He could have turned bad and tried to dominate all those he could.

So the question for me is: I have powers and talents.

Am I conscious of that?

And

What do I do with them?

 

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April 14- visiting my hometown

April, how is it going?

Blossoming?

I had a dream tonight, that I went to my hometown and met a former schoolmate who got married and had three children. We were discussing what happened in our lives -hers who never left home- and mine who went to the big city to fulfil my destiny. We realized with had more in common than I could have thought.

In reality, I did go to my hometown, to visit my parents. I arrived late at night, took a taxi that was waiting at the train station, and had a long discussion with the taxi driver, between 1.00 and 1.30 in the morning. A woman in her mid-forties; married at 18, three children. Her husband died when she was 27. He was the love of her life-up to now. She never had a serious relationship after. She dedicated herself to her three children who now study, or work independently. She has been working as a taxi driver the last 20 years, sometimes night shifts.

She was happy with her life, made choices and fought for them.

So am I, in my way. There are things to improve. I am still looking for an independent income and my true love. But I followed the direction that felt important. I made mistakes and sometimes it has been painful. Loved, separated.

Time has passed. Important things have been accomplished. Others are on the way.

So, to answer your question, April: how am I doing?

I am becoming me…